Monday, April 30, 2012

Lincoln

    Bread, cheese, ramen, yogurt, a pizza. These were to be the highlights of Lincoln's afternoon. He was nineteen and, as of six weeks ago, living on his own. Because of his bad planning, Lincoln was often running out of food and having to make short trips to the grocery store. Today, it was a Saturday and he did not have to work, so he decided to spend the better part of his afternoon walking to the store - his car was still being fixed - to get those groceries that he needed. It wouldn't be a complete waste of time for him though. It was a nice day to be walking outside, and if he hadn't left his apartment he knew he'd have ended up spending the afternoon indoors playing League of Legends.
    Around 12:30 on that Saturday, Lincoln was walking through a quiet suburban part of town. It was sometimes nice for him to get away and spend some time by himself, with only his own thoughts for company. He was enjoying this moment when he heard a voice behind him.
    "Some say the Thomasson Theorem oversimplifies the complex laws of mass and inertia." the voice said.
    Lincoln groaned. He had hoped that she wouldn't show up. He did not want to have to deal with her right now.
    The girl ran up beside Lincoln and walked beside him.
    "Hi, Lee." the girl said cheerily. The girl seemed to be about sixteen or seventeen and, Lincoln had to admit, was quite cute. Her name was Sage, and she was constantly irritating Lincoln. She'd always show up at the worst times, wanting to talk, wanting to share with Lincoln anything she had read on the internet. There were times when Lincoln enjoyed the company, but he often just wanted for her to leave him alone. Still, he tried to be somewhat nice about it.
    "My name is still Lincoln." he said, agitated. "It hasn't changed since the last time we talked."
    Sage ignored him. She had a habit of doing that.
    "So, whatcha doing?" she asked, as if she didn't already know.
    Lincoln sighed before saying "I'm walking to the store. I have a few things I need to pick up."
    Sage had noticed his sigh. "Are you upset?" she asked.
    "No." Lincoln looked straight ahead as he walked. Sage always knew when he was lying.
    "Is it me? Do you want me to leave?"
    "No. You're fine. You can stay."
    Sage ignored what he said. She knew he was lying anyway. "I'm sorry. I don't like having to hang around with you either. It's not like I have much of a choice." Sage stopped walking. Her eyes started to tear up.
    Lincoln stopped and turned to the girl. She was right. They were stuck together. Whether they liked each other or not, Sage could never go away. She could never have a life of her own, apart from Lincoln. They were two people entwined. Two personalities inhabiting the same mind.
    "I don't want to be upset with you." Lincoln said. He was often upset with her. Sometimes he'd get angry at her and demand for her to leave. She'd only end up crying though, and he'd end up feeling guilty. If they were going to be stuck with each other, he would much rather that they be on good terms.
    "Really." he said. "It's okay. I'm not mad at you. And I know that you don't have a choice about being here. Let's try to get along."
    Sage nodded her head.
    "Good." Lincoln started to walk, and Sage did as well. "So, have you read anything interesting lately?"
    Without hesitating, Sage said "Titanic first played publicly on November 1st, 1997 at a Tokyo film festival."
    "I didn't know that." Lincoln said softly. An elderly man sat on the porch of a nearby house, enjoying the day. Lincoln spoke softly, as he did not want to appear strange in front of the man.
    Lincoln knew about the problem he had. He knew that he was the only one who could see Sage. He was the only one who could hear her and talk to her. He tried not to talk to her when other people were around though. He didn't want someone to see him holding a one way conversation with a girl who wasn't really there.
    Lincoln didn't know how to classify what he was slowly coming to believe was a mental illness. His symptoms didn't entirely match those of any illness he knew of. He didn't hear voices in his head and his own personality was never taken over by another. Sage was more of an imaginary friend than anything else. An imaginary friend that his brain thought was real, and that Lincoln had no control over. He couldn't even control when she appeared.
    "And did you know that the USSR used hen houses to detect incoming missiles?" Sage offered.
    Lincoln smiled. "I think you have that confused."
    "Maybe." she said.
    This was another thing Lincoln couldn't understand about Sage. She had a tendency to share pointless facts, things that she had read online. Even though she was just a part of Lincoln's imagination, she knew things that Lincoln did't know, things that he didn't remember learning. He couldn't figure out how that was possible; but then, Sage always had been an enigma.
    Lincoln, and therefore Sage as well, had just about reached the grocery store. He wondered if Sage would follow him inside, expecting to continue their conversation. In such a small store, in which everyone could easily overhear the others, it would be embarrassing to talk to her, since the others would think he was talking to himself - which, in a way, he was. Still, it'd be rude to ignore Sage.
    This issue did not come up though. When Lincoln looked to his side he saw that Sage was gone. As unexpectedly as she had appeared, she had disappeared. Lincoln felt briefly lonely, but he knew it wouldn't be more than a day or two before she returned, whether he liked it or not. Lincoln headed into the store, the bell ringing as he went in.
    I watched all this from about fifty meters back. I've been watching him, following him, for a few days now, writing down all I see. I wish I could reassure him. I wish I could tell him why he's different, that he wasn't intended to be like this. He was given a gift, but his mind couldn't handle it. He was supposed to have access to the world's information within his mind, but his mind couldn't comprehend that information, seeing it as foreign, an intruder in his brain. He fragmented off the part of his brain that was foreign, gave it a name, gave it a personality. He had to see the thoughts that did not belong to him as coming from someone else and that's why he sees Sage. But telling him that is not my purpose here. I cannot interfere.
    Lincoln is of no use to me. I have come to the conclusion that he cannot help me complete my goals. Moreover, because he has no control over his ability, I doubt that he will play much of a role at all in the conflict that is to come. I am somewhat grateful that he at least will be spared when it comes. But this conflict is still a long ways off.
    My observation of Lincoln is complete. I will move on now to the next candidate.

No comments:

Post a Comment